New Whey Liquid Protein, Phallic Vials Indicate Manliness

Those that know me best, know that I like to try new things(not gay stuff, I'm not saying it's wrong... but I'm not down, dude. Seriously, leave me alone Dirk. We are friends, and that's it...). So when I was presented with a new kind of protein supplement, one that was easier to consume than the traditional disgusting shake, I was intrigued.

Enter New Whey Liquid Protein, the 3oz shot of juice that provides an amazing 42 grams of protein! From NewWhey.com:

New Whey Liquid Protein is the ultimate in convenient protein supplementation. Having a great taste and a serving size of about 3 ounces, New Whey is compact and refreshing. With no need for blending, refrigeration and virtually unbreakable packaging, New Whey is perfect for any on the go lifestyle.

Now, if that's not exciting, I don't know what is. Those of you that have ever taken protein supplements know of the hassle that is involved. You've got two choices, a protein bar or a protein shake. Personally I opt for the shake rather than a bar, typically the bars offer more calories and less grams of protein.

So we are talking protein shakes... First, there is choosing one of 3 disgusting flavors (chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry), apparently there aren't any other flavors in the world. Secondly, there is actually preparing said protein drink. The instructions say to mix 4 ounces of water with one "heaping scoop" of the powder. As anyone that's tried it knows, water doesn't taste very good mixed with chocolate powder... actually it's quite disgusting. So, you opt for putting milk in there, very much improving the taste from "THREAT LEVEL: VOMIT" to "This is better than eating a pile of shit" status. However, you aren't quite done. For reasons unknown to me, protein powder refuses to mix with a spoon... You can't do it, I challenge you to try. It must be done in a blender, bottom line. So now, not only do you have to wash the blender and a glass, but you have to clean up all the little granules of protein mix that have scattered on the kitchen counter. What I'm getting at here is that it's a lot of hassle to get from point A to point B.

That's why I was first drawn to the idea of premixed supplements, such as Muscle Milk. It's a protein drink that's already mixed and refrigerated for your immediate drinking pleasure. Three drawbacks: The taste, not the best... not the worst. It's made with milk, so it has to be refrigerated before drinking. It comes in a cardboard box, not really that rugged. Flawed yes, but better and more convenient than doing it yourself.

We get to the subject at hand, New Whey Liquid Protein. This product boasts 42 grams of protein, that's just about what 2 servings of standard protein powder will get you. It's 3 ounces, max. Standard protein drinks, are anywhere from 4 ounces to 8 ounces. Finally, it comes in a hard plastic (dildo shaped) case and doesn't need to be refrigerated. You can toss it in your bag, under the seat of your car, or in you underwear if you want that little extra something to show off at the gym(and they say you can make Jello from this stuff!).

Done deal right? Wrong, this products suffers from one fatal flaw... it tastes like ass. That's right, ass that's been dipped in cough syrup. Ok, it just tastes like cough syrup. You know, that really disgusting cough syrup that you have to choke down and it kills a little bit of your soul kind of cough syrup?

There you have it people, something new to try out. You can order it from the New Whey website(which is rather dismal and unimpressive) or you can buy it from Bulk Nutrition, which is where I bought it. It's cheaper(29.88 for 12 dil..umm vials), and they have good service.

Final thoughts on this product? It's interesting, easy to use and has plenty of protein. It's also rather disgusting. So, that's the trade off. One final bonus, the empty container can be used as a sex toy... if you swing that way.